REPORTS OF DEADLY BEARS: Man VS Bear Comeback Debate?

The end times are here. A once simply hilarious and male ego-shattering choice has been turned on it's head with the a switch up from the option you would've never expected to hear anything from. You thought a woman choosing a bear was bad, now we got bears actively making the choice for them. During this year's Fat Bear Contest, Rangers lost sight of the favorite to win, Jiggle Fysics, 2-3 weeks into the compeition, worrying onlookers about his chances as he had begun to fall behind his closest rival, Big Back Billy. Towards the tailend of the 3rd weeks sightings of Jiggle began to pick up again in the most unlikly of places. King Salmon, Alaska, sitting 290 even air miles away from the Kitami Park Reserve had recently been devastated by a series of missing persons' cases and brutal murders. The reports show that officers have traced the remains back to a den with a Jiggle Fysics 100 lbs heavier than we last saw him. Rangers are still trying to sort out the specifics on the How and Why. More @11

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